I thought I would write since I haven't really done that in a while. I've been struggling with a lot of things lately.
#1 I feel like I don't belong (except when I'm right here in the comfort of my own home with my husband and kids). Most of my family isn't saved so it's really hard to relate to them. They are living in the world, while I am trying so hard to live my life for the Lord. No one is perfect, but it's really hard for me (someone who lives life for Christ and tries to show His love through me) to relate to people who are liars, addicts and hypocrites. I still love them so much, I just wish they could see the greatness that I have found in Him and try to turn from the worldly ways.
#2 - I feel like a big fat failure. Aaron thinks it's because I have way too much on my mind and that I try to do too many things, but I just don't know how to let go, or slow down. I can't even catch up on my coupons. I can't keep a clean home, have patience and be creative with homeschool, discipline myself to eat better and exercise. I just feel like I'm losing complete control of everything. I feel really overwhelmed.
#3 - I feel unloved by people who I thought cared about me. Having my party in Ohio with such a small turnout really bummed me out and it's still getting to me. Why can't people take an hour or 2 out of their day to visit with me and the baby while we are in town? I don't understand why no one has time for me. As busy as I keep my schedule, I always make time for the few friends that I have. At least I know the truth that God loves me no matter what and I guess that should be all that really matters.
#4 - I have NO energy lately. I know this falls back to the part where I mentioned that I can't discipline myself to eat better or exercise. It's a vicious cycle that I try to stop but just can't.
Please pray for me to come out of all of this. I am so hard on myself. I expect way too much for myself, but ask my mom and she'll tell you that I've ALWAYS been that way. I also know that greater is HE who is in me than he who is in the world. I am more than a conquerer and I will come through this. I'm just fighting a battle right now and would appreciate your prayers and kind words. Thanks! Amanda
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This Saturday’s Recipes by The Pioneer Woman
4 years ago
3 comments:
I find it very difficult to always be around people that do nothing but bring me down. Therefore; I try to spend as little time as possible with those kind of people. It makes it so much harder being that it seems like the people that bring you down is family. You have your eyes where they should be on God and as long as you are living your live for God then others are able to see that in you. Don't give other people the satisfaction of bringing you down. I haven't known you very long and don't know you very well, but from what I have seen you are an awesome person!
Thanks Missy! I'm not around them much (since I live so far away) but I guess that's why it hurts more, because I kind of expect them to want to be around me more now when they get the chance. You are right though, I shouldn't let them bring me down. I'm trying! I just have so many other things going on.
I know you do not really know me, but I was at that party! It was a lot of fun!
Missy is right, fill your life with people that love the Lord and love you.
Negative people will bring you down quicker than anything.
You have a beautiful family! Hold your head up and don't let people bring you down. If they cant see you and love you for who you are then I feel sorry for them cause it seems like they lost out on a great friend!
Good luck to you!
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